Across all my work, one big thing I’ve noticed that sabotages people from getting what they want is an addiction to cravingness.
What do I mean by “addiction to cravingness”?
It’s staying in the energetic state of wanting and then resting your happiness on the condition of “getting” whatever it is you want.
The paradox here is that genuine DESIRE is how we are inspired to want or get anything.
Craving and wanting-ness is believing that if you could get that person over there to just come over here… THEN you would be happy. That person or situation becomes your tin God.
Addiction to cravingness is feeling like your life is constantly in a state of journey-ing and becoming– which, while that’s definitely one way to look at it– doesn’t actually make you manifest any quicker or get what you want sooner. As much as you WISH it would.
What’s the solution to cravingness?
That’s the real reason why transformational coaches (like myself) constantly preach about gratitude. Genuine gratitude (for a moment at least), gets your focus OFF wanting-ness and ONTO satisfaction with the present.
Frustratingly, if you’ve tried to manifest anything for any period of time, you’ve probably noticed that trying to force yourself to feel gratitude when you just… don’t… isn’t exactly inspiring. And you don’t attract anything any faster when you just aren’t feeling it.
So what gives?
Faking gratitude or trying to get all hyped up energetically when you’re just not feeling “it” draws attention to what you feel lack around.
I’ve found it MUCH more effective (and what I want manifests QUICKER) to get the internal “feeling” of already having whatever it is I desire… and THEN finding something else to focus on temporarily.
Cravingness– the nagging, constant wanting of something more, better or different is just an endless, repetitive cycle that it’s too easy to get stuck in, without realizing what’s happening.
Want something —> get “it”—> become afraid of loss—> notice a problem—> try to improve the situation—> experience actual loss—> want something AGAIN—> repeat… endlessly.
The way out of this addiction to cravingness is to start exactly where you are and look for any sense of satisfaction you can find while breaking the habit of looking for things to “improve.”
If deeply you want a person, a manifestation or any situation to improve, I want you to sit with it.
You can DESIRE that things change. You can genuinely require change in your life. I’m not saying “quit desiring new things.”
But if you stay in the mental state of cravingness for something else, you’ll simply attract more of THAT feeling and the kind of experiences that cause this, because WANTING and NEEDING attracts more wanting.
To bring this back around to LOVE and attracting a specific person, you’ve probably noticed that the more you WANT someone or something to change about your relationship, the harder it becomes to bring them into your experience in the way you want.
It’s the worst. And I know I can’t simply snap my fingers and make you forget what’s going on. I wish I could.
But, remember, our brains are built to protect us. Constant anxious vigilance saved us from lions and tigers and bears for MILLENIA.
Maddeningly, that state of stress and wanting and surveillance DOES NOT work with people.
And, that’s why, when I get my amazing clients to take their mind OFF the person they want and cultivate a genuine feeling of love for themselves which is completely dependent on their own internal compass– suddenly, whatever they really want appears… like magic.
That’s why, just for today… I encourage you to turn TOWARD yourself and away from “the situation” or anything that is bothering you. Killing that addiction to cravingness and creating satisfaction just takes practice.
I have faith in you.