Recently a coach friend of mine gave me a harsh (but welcome) talking to about why I hadn’t launched The Secrets To Understanding Men No One Tells You™ by that point.
Several months before, I had shared a review copy which he had torn through in less than 24 hours– then he wrote me one of the kindest, most encouraging emails I’ve ever received.
Instead, for months after I showed the completed program to him, I did nothing.
The program was complete, sitting on the proverbial digital shelf, completely inaccessible to the public.
And… because I had done nothing with it, I was absolutely dreading answering his questions about it.
A few minutes after the usual pleasantries, he asked how my launch went– assuming I had already done it.
Sheepishly, I told him I hadn’t launched it yet.
He began one of the most heartfelt “sermons” on purpose and creativity I’ve ever heard.
I wish I had recorded what he said, because I would re-listen every morning instead of coffee for the kick-in-the-pants every creator needs to get their gift out into the world.
He gave me a solid hour of every compassionate persuasion technique I’ve ever heard, all in the service of convincing ME to share.
AMONG OTHER THINGS, HE TOLD ME THAT KEEPING THIS INFORMATION TO MYSELF WAS COMPLETELY SELFISH.
By withholding, I was preventing every unhappy, confused person who could use it from discovering it and gaining the clarity to turn their relationships around.
He asked me how many symphonies have been written that no one has ever heard because their composers couldn’t get it together to execute. Countless, probably.
Because I was too afraid, I was not following through with my duty to my divine gift.
He reminded me that my work is already clearly NOT for everyone, but if I don’t at least share what I have to offer, I’m not for anyone.
When he was finished, I tried to discuss the practical logistics of doing the program launch.
He wasn’t having it. “That’s my message,” he said. “Do with it what you will.”
Then we got off the phone.
Before bed that night, I thought back to when I was freshly separated from my ex husband and an absolute emotional wreck.
At the time, I reached out to a 92 year old counselor who had been dispensing his specific brand of magic to the world for over 60 years at that point.
Together– in a very short period of time– he helped me turn my life around.
That was November of 2015. By April of 2016, he had passed away.
When I think about purpose, I often go back to passing along his legacy since it was so powerful for me.
He wrote one book, simply titled, Stop Your Divorce.
By now, years later, I’ve shared his ideas countless times in every possible format, blended with my own and the most helpful mindsets I can find.
To keep my sanity during my divorce, I recorded our 1:1 phone sessions and used to listen to them before I went to bed at night.
At the time, I didn’t even tell him I was recording him because I was afraid he would say no and I wanted to be able to go back and review what he told me. A near obsessive amount.
Back then I was terrified that getting divorced meant I knew nothing about love and relationships. And– worried what people would think of me if they knew.
It turns out that the people who I most enjoy working with— who are most ready to absorb my message– are exactly the ones who appreciate that they aren’t talking to some Stepford wife robot who can’t even remember what getting divorced or dumped or otherwise painfully rejected really feels like.
OVER AND OVER I’M REMINDED THAT PEOPLE WANT A WILDERNESS GUIDE WHO HAS ACTUALLY GONE TO THE WILDERNESS.
Not someone who has just THOUGHT about going to the wilderness.
Or written their master’s thesis, “Properties Of The Wilderness” about the wilderness.
Everyone wants some one who has ACTUALLY GONE to the wilderness, come out alive and well and with a better map. From experience.
Because if your life is at stake, you want someone who knows what it’s really like to make it out alive.
Either way, that fear I wasn’t good enough kept me from sharing anything about relationships for a long time afterward.
It turns out that devastation, that ground-zero level of emotional wreckage made me. It was one of the most powerful transformational experiences I’ve ever had before or since.
After the emotional wreckage cleared and I learned of his passing, I wrote a heartfelt letter to his widow asking if there was anything else he had left behind. Just so I could experience any of his content I didn’t already know about.
She told me there wasn’t, but sometimes she listened to his old recordings before bed. Like I used to.
If he had written, spoken or otherwise shared anything else, I would probably have them memorized by now, like I do his original work. He would have multiplied his reach with only one person– let alone the countless others he’s influenced over the years.
If he hadn’t shared his gift, I can’t even imagine what my life would be like today. Working with him was that transformational.
Which brings us back to the current day’s ass kicking that Robert was so kind as to dish out, and the point of what I’m getting at here.
If you’re reading this and have something uniquely yours to share, it’s time.
If that’s you, it’s time to do it. Share your work. Put your gift out there.
Please.
Share your gift with the world.
Because you can build on that.
And if you’re afraid, you can take it. You can afford the cost. I believe in you.
Do it now, before you croak and people like me start writing letters to your loved ones to see if you left more.
Talk soon,
P.S. Check out The Secrets To Understanding Men No One Tells You™ here now.
